Say Hello 2 Heaven

Gegužė 22, 2017 m
Komentarai (1)

I know it is not an obvious topic for a food blog post. I wasn’t planing to write anything about it; but it has been a week, and I still can not make that throbbing painful feeling go away. So I decided to write it up, with hope that when it is all written it will make me feel better, like some kind of closure.

Chris Cornell’s death hit me hard. Never expected that to be so hard, but as the days were going by after hearing the news, I just fell into this neverending cloud of sadness which would exacerbate into strong wave of darkness and turn me into a complete wreck. Then the wave would go away, I would pull my shit together, until the next wake.

Throughout the week I’ve been reading articles, and comments, and in memoriams about Cornell’s life, about his last performance in Detroit, about the possible reason why he ended like he did. In most of those written pieces there was mentioning of depression, or some medication that Chris Cornell was on, or other possible reasons that would somewhat explain his final life’s decision. People always want to find an explanation why; even though no explanation could change anything. I guess knowing the reason brings some clarity; and with clarity comes peace. So people always try to explain it; and, bizzarly enough, most often they do it by pointing fingers at the victim himself (or herself): he (or she) could not cope, suffered from depression, overdosed, lost control, had a long history of this or that, addiction, drugs, weakness, etc., etc., etc.

I do not know Cornell’s deamons or weaknesses or troubles, but his death did not strike me as something completely weird or shocking. Person just gave up. Had enough. What’s the point in looking for some useless explanation. Also, no need to blame depression. Because depression is never a reason. Depression, my dearests, is always a consequence. It’s a lazy, selfish and ignorant way to push the blame onto a victim. Just like when you have a mother who just had a baby and who finds herslef living in a complete mental and emotional desert, exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, and most of the time lost, we start nodding our heads knowingly and say that she suffers from postpartum depression. And when that poor soul, completely wrecked and hopeless, ends her life on the bathroom floor, then we continue nodding our heads and continue chiming that, oh well, she just could not cope.

It’s not the depression that kills people like that. It’s that empty desert. We should all be troubled by the fact that a person of such calliber like Chris Cornell could not possibly find a place for himself in this shitty world of ours. We need to learn to look in the mirror for once, instead of pointing fingers at those who just could not bare it any longer.

The most painful fact from Chris Cornell’s death for me was not the loss of amazing talent, which he was. For me it became painfully scary. Because Cornell justified the unjustifiable. If he could do it, the idol, the inspiration, the creator who gave us songs and lyrics we reached for when no other words could explain us better, if the Angel himself could do it, so can we, mere mortals. For me that is the scariest thought of all: when it appears to be ok to end like he did.

I talked to my kids about this. I told them that they need to be good to people. That is the key and most esential thing they need to do in this life. They need to be good to others. Make other people happy. Bring joy. Be generous, giving, loving, caring. Listen. Do not ever walk away from someone who reaches for you. Be with someone who needs you. The other shit will wait. Do not insult, or play games, or trick people. Do not intentionally stab somebody so that would bring them to darkest, most dangerous cliffs. Always be thoughtful and mindful about things you say and do to others. Appologize when stuff goes wrong. Do not be an asshole. And our life will be better. Our world will become a happier place.

Rest in peace Chris. Your are dearly missed.

Ausra