Valentine
I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors I screamed his name ‘til the neighbors called the cops I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver Don’t know what I did next, all I know I couldn’t stop
Word got around to the barflies and the baptists My mama’s phone started ringin’ off the hook I can hear her now sayin’ she ain’t gonna have it Don’t matter how you feel, it only matters how you look
Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady ‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together Even when you fall apart But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart
Miranda Lambert | Mama’s Broken Heart
It has been a while since I’ve published a blogpost in English. Last time I wrote in English it was back in December of 2015. Because it has been a long time, and because tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I though it would be appropriate to write something in a language that everyone can understand. I guess I should be writing something love-related, possibly a romantic story, preferably with a happy ending, so that the readers would get all that fuzzy feeling, so appropriate for a V-Day. The only problem with that is that such romantic stories with sweet endings are too scarce in real life, unfortunately. I mean, really, how often do you see a relationship that goes on gracefully and beautifully, from the first day they meet till death do them apart? I know maybe one, maximum two such relationships, in the whole entire universe of couples, and spouses, and lovers that I’ve encountered in 44 long years of my life. Fairytale-like love stories turn out in the world with extreme rarity, and the rest of the relationships, millions and millions and millions of relationships usually end up in a disasterous, dark, unfortunate breakups, heartbreaks, hardships, tears, and ton of dissapointment. That’s the reality, people. Even though we all like to talk so much about love and romance, the key thing that everyone needs to be talking about is the breakup. If life-long love happens once in a blue moon, breakup is almost unavoidable. It will always happen to you, and to everyone else, just by random chance. Due to those above mentioned reasons this Valentine’s day I would like to focus my attention not on romance and roses, but on breakups, and I would like to give you some valuable insights on the matter, not because I’m such a huge expert on the topic (just a moderate kind of expert), but because I never shy away from dishing out a valuable advice to everyone who asks for it, and to all of you, who do not. The key point of this short monologue is this: the breakup will happen, whether you like it or not, because it almost always happens to almost everybody. Breakups are never fun, or pleasant, or something you, in a clear mind, would wish for. They are nasty, and cruel, like a shock, or a hit on a head with a heavy dull object. And because they will happen to you, at least once in your lifetime, or twice, or in neverending series of times, it is always nice to have a loving soul who is willing to guide you through the process. So read on, my Dearests. There is some valuable information to be revealed.
Valuable Insight #1: NO LESSONS will be learned, ever. One would think, that after you have such dramatic experience as a breakup, this would result loads of thinking about all that went wrong, why it all happened, etc., etc. After all that thinking one would expect to learn a valuable lesson, so that next time around we would not be repeating the same exact mistakes. Wrong. No amount of reflection will teach you how to act next time around and no lessons will be learned, because: a) You are not going to change, not now, not ever. You’ll remain the same freaky controling self for the rest of your life. When the next relationship comes up, you most likely will pull off the same identical irrational act as you did before, so your next romance will end up in a breakup zone. Again. Unless … (see Valuable Insight #2). b) You most likely are going to pick exact same guy, or gal, just in a different shell. It might look different at first, but in reality it will be the same exact type of a person, the type that, unfortunately, is not a good fit for you. Unless, in fact, it is a perfect fit. If that turns out to be the case, please refer to Valuable Insight #2.
Valuable Insight #2. It will fail UNLESS it is a True Love. You’ll keep falling in love, and then failing, and then falling again, and failing again, and it will continue on and on, untill by some magical luck you’ll meet that one person, the one and only, your True Love. The ways to recognize a True Love are following: all your weirdness, and freakiness, and all those flaws that kept messing up every love situation you’ve managed to get yourself into, will miraculously become OK, and they will not need to be hidden, or masked by your fascinating personality that you’ve successfully adapted by watching glamorous movies. It will be ok to be a freak, and weird, and crazy. That person will take you as you are, and will be thrilled with it, all of it. And it will be perfect, and fantastic, and absolutely mindblowing, from the first moment you meet, till the moment one of you dies. When True Love happens, you’ll recognize it in an instant. I certainly hope you will. I hope I will, when that happens to me. And it will not hurt any more. If it still hurts that means it is not a True Love.
Valuable Insigth #3. Match-dot-com is NOT your friend in finding True Love. True Love comes completely unexpected. Usually from behind and under the most unusual circumstances. This is, of course, all hypothetical, but I’m strongly convinced that is exactly how True Love works. And you do not need to waste your time searching for it; or trying to find it on some shady online dating site (although I’m not any kind of expert in shady online dating sites). Dating sites could not be used for this purpose simply because no one puts following information on their personal profile: “Hello, my name is such-and-such, I am an obsessive-compulsive control freak, with severe personality issues that need to be dealt with on a clinical level. I have no idea what I want in life, but it is obvious that whatever I have now is totally not what I truly want. And that is why I’m still looking, and posting my profile onto this exact website. Please contact me if you are interested.” No one posts such blurs about themselves, only positive and polished information, but, ironically, it turns out that all that weird stuff that we usually try to hide, appears to matter the most. In search for love you need to show your cards, so to speak, an open book style. No polished profiles on match-dot-com. Do not waste your precious time.
Valuable Insight #4. ENJOY while it is still good. After desperately trying and miserably failing to find true happiness in love domain, it is completely natural to have the worst and lowest expectations when the potential new relationship comes around. Because we tend to think that since it did not work for us before, it is likely not going to work again. So we end up poisoning our fresh encounters with fears, and doubts, and the red flags that keep pointing to a bad ending of it all. My suggestion here would be: do not worry all that much, even if you see red flags and other suggestive evidence for inevitably bad ending. Even if you sense that this new romance is not going to last, try to make it last while it is still nice and rosy; do not ruin the moments that are still joyful, and sweet, and plain pleasant, with your dark paranoya. We have so little of those joyful moments in our lives, so take it all in while it is still good and fun. Remember: it does not have to last forever. Be glad that you have it now, and whatever happens tomorrow, doesn’t really matter all that much. You’ll deal with it when that happens. In the meantime just sit back, realax and enjoy the ride. You’ll get there eventually. At least I think you will. I believe I will.
In summary, I just want to point out that in romantic life you do not have to hide from the inevitable failures. Breakups and disapointments, accompanied by emotional pain, tears and heartbreak, are in fact a good thing. Just like falling in love pushes us to the heights that we never knew even existed, makes us creative, and capable, and amazing, the same exact way breakups and failures make us stronger, wiser, better people. Even though no lessons will be learned, an we will be repeating the same mistakes over and over again, every experience in our lives, even the darkest one, makes us grow bigger. After every heartbreak, if we survive it, we come out better people. So don’t shy away from stuff that hurts. In the end it will all work out for the better. Trust me.
I wish you all the most wonderful, romantic, sweet & dreamy, True-Love-quality Valentine’s Day! Love and be loved! Thank you for stoping by and reading my post. Yours truly, Aušra
Portraits: Alison Dollaway @ A Doll Photography Hair, makeup & all things glamour: Danielle Saint Velvet @ Hare and Bristle
Lietinių tortas Recepto šaltinis: Broma Bakery
Lietiniai: 1¾ stiklinės* miltų ½ šaukštelio druskos ¼ stiklinės kakavos miltelių 4 kiaušiniai 1½ stiklinės pieno ½ stiklinės sviesto, ištirpinto Raudonų gelinių maistinių dažų *1 stiklinė = 236 ml Visus ingredientus sudėti į elektrinį plakiklį ir išsukti iki vientisos masės. Palikti pusvalandžiui kambario temperatūroje, arba pernakt šaldytuve. Ant vidutinio stiprumo ugnies įkaitinti keptuvę, dugną plonai patepti sviestu. Iš paruoštos tešlos kepti plonus lietinius. Iškeptus lietinius dėti ant grotelių, kad pilnai atvėstų.
Kremas: 1½ stiklinės pieno ½ stiklinės cukraus ¼ šaukštelio druskos 1 šaukštelis vanilės esencijos ¼ stiklinės kukurūzų krakmolo 2 kiaušinių tryniai 2 šaukštai sviesto ½ stiklinės plaktos giretinėlės ¾ stiklinės Nutella Vidutinio dydžio puode sumaišyti 1 stiklinę pieno, cukrų ir druską. Užkaisti ant vidutinio stiprumo ugnies. Kaitinti, pastoviai maišant, kol užvirs. Nukelti nuo ugnies. Matavimui skirtame ąsotėlyje arba karščiui atspariame dubenyje sumaišyti kukurūzų krakmolą, kiaušinių trynius ir likusį pieną. Karšto pieno mišinį pamažu pilti į trynių mišinį, visą laiką energingai plakant. Viską perpilti atgal į tą patį puodą, kuriame buvo kaitinamas pienas. Kaitinti at vidutinio stiprumo ugnies, pastoviai maišant, kol sutirštės. Nukelti nuo ugnies. Mišinį pertrinti per tankų sietelį. Sudėti sviestą, vanilę, išmaišyti. Kremo paviršių uždengti maistine plėvele ir padėti šaltai, kad gerai atšaltų ir sustingtų. Į atšalusį kremą sudėti plaktą grietinėlę ir atsargiai išmaišyti. Nutella sudėti į karščiui atsparų puodelį arba dubenėlį. Kaitinti mikrobangėje arba virš garų, kol suskystės. Skystą Nutella supilti į šaltą kremą ir gerai išmaišyti.
Užbaigimas: Ant lėkštės arba padėklo dėti tris lietinius, užtepti maždaug 2 šaukštus kremo, toliau dėti lietinį, vėl kremą, ir t.t., kol bus sunaudoti visi lietiniai. Tortą susukti į maistinę plėvelę ir padėti šaltai, kad sustingtų. Tiekti šaltą.
Red Velvet Crêpe Cake Recipe source: Broma Bakery
Crêpes: 1¾ cups flour ½ teaspoon salt ¼ cup cocoa powder 4 eggs 1½ cups milk ½ cup butter, melted A dab of red gel food coloring Mix all ingredients in a blender until uniform. Let batter rest for 30 minutes at room temperature or refrigerate overnight. Heat skillet ove rmedium heat. Brush with melted butter. Pour enough batter onto hot skillet, to form a thin crêpe. Cook unitl one side is lightly browned. Flip crêpe and cook other side. Transfer finished crêpe onto cooling rack. Conticue with the rest of the batter.
Filling: 1½ cups milk ½ cup sugar ¼ teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract ¼ cup cornstarch 2 egg yolks 2 tablespoons butter ½ cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks ¾ cup Nutella or hazelnut spread In a medium saucepan, stir together 1 cup of the milk, sugar and salt. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Remove from heat. In a measuring cup or a bowl whisk cornstarch, egg yolks and remaining ½ cup milk. Whisk some of the hot milk mixture with egg yolk mixture. Pour egg/milk mixture into saucepan with hot milk. Return to heat. ring to a boil, stirring constantly with a whisk, until mixture thickens. Remove from the heat and strain through a fine sieve. Stir in butter and vanilla extract. Cover surface with plastic wrap and set aside to cool, then refrigerate until firm. To complete, fold the whipped cream into the cooled pastry cream. Melt Nutella in a microwave until it is pourable. Add melted nutella to cold pastry cream and whisk to incorporrate.
Assembling: Stack 3 crêpes on a serving plate and spread with 2 tablespoons of hazelnut pastry cream. Continue to layer a single crêpe and 2 tablespoons of filling until use up all crêpes. Wrap cake in plastic wrap. Chill overnight. Slice into wedges and serve.
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